Top 25 Things That Never Happen in Star Trek
1) The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type
that it has encountered before.
2) The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists
who are all perfectly all right.
3) The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden-like planet called
Paradise, where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything
is soon revealed to be exactly as it seems.
4) The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague,
for which the cure is found in the well-stocked sickbay.
5) A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed
as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering
6) A power surge on the Bridge fails to electrocute the user
of a computer panel, due to a highly sophisticated 24th century
surge protection feature called a 'fuse'.
7) The Enterprise ferries an alien VIP from one place to another
without serious incident.
8) The Enterprise separates as soon as there is any danger.
9) The Enterprise gets involved in an enigmatic, strange, and
dangerous situation, and there are no pesky aliens they can blame
it on in the end.
10) The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp phenomenon,
which is in no way connected with the 20th century.
11) Somebody takes out a shuttle and it doesn't explode or crash.
12) A major StarFleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise,
and some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to
13) The shields on the Enterprise stay up during a battle.
14) The Enterprise visits the Klingon Home World on a bright,
15) An attempt at undermining the Klingon-Federation alliance
is discovered without anyone noting that such an attempt, if
successful, "would represent a fundamental shift of power
throughout the quadrant."
16) A major character spends the entire episode in the Holodeck
without a single malfunction trapping him/her there.
17) Worf and Troi finally decide to get married, only to have
Kate Pulaski show up and disrupt the wedding by shouting, "Did
he read you love poetry?! Did he serve you poisonous tea?! He's
18) When Worf tells the bridge officers that something is
entering visual range no one says "On screen."
19) Worf actually gives another vessel more than 2 seconds
to respond to one of the Enterprise's hails.
20) Worf kills Wesley by mistake in the holodeck, (pity this
wasn't done in "Deja Vu" then we could have seen it
5 times without rewinding the tape).
21) Beverly Crusher manages to go through a whole episode
without having a hot flush and getting breathless every time
Picard is in the room.
22) Guinan forgets herself, and breaks into a stand up comedy
23) Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet
he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end
of the episode, or even: Kirk (or Riker) meets an attractive
woman and does not fall in love.
24) The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less
advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the StarFleet
25) An unknown ensign beams down as part of an away team and
lives to tell the tale.