Klingon Imperial Forums
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
02 17, 2018, 07:26: PM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
Realtime chats are now following a freeform schedule.  If you would like to chat with you fellows please see the It's Talk Time thread for more info or to schedule a chat.
11896 Posts in 1665 Topics by 691 Members
Latest Member: jackusopiffeza
* Home Help Search Calendar Login Register
+  Klingon Imperial Forums
|-+  General Discussions
| |-+  Klingon News
| | |-+  The Comics Section
| | | |-+  Klingon Privateer Fights Big Tobacco for Control
« previous next »
Pages: [1] Go Down Print
Author Topic: Klingon Privateer Fights Big Tobacco for Control  (Read 5579 times)
Her Nibbs
Thought Master
Offline Offline

Posts: 1122

That which does not kill me, must have missed me.

« on: 03 17, 2005, 06:46: AM »

Boldly Going Nowhere
The Wrath of Araz

by Captain Alli Kirkham Hornet Columnist
March 02, 2005

"Community College: The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship, Sarcasm. Its two-year mission: to explore knowledge, to seek out strange new professors and bizarre students, to boldly go nowhere."
Captain's Log, Stardate 2-24-05

This is Captain Kirkham of the Starship, Sarcasm. My crew and I have now been a week on the Planet Fullerton, and are now observers on the sidelines of a war between the Fullertonians and a sinister foe: Tobacco.

The planet is torn into civil war at the face of this enemy. Some students harbor loyalties to Tobacco, and accept it in their midst, while others vehemently oppose the place that it holds on the planet, and are trying to exile it to the wastes of space.

The casualties on both sides are considerable. Fullertonians who accept Tobacco as an ally are often stricken with hideous diseases and diminished lung capacity, while the bodies of Tobacco foot soldiers, the Cigarettes, litter the planet in scores, and are pressed into the mass burial grounds of ashtrays. The smoke-scarred battlefields of the campus are shoved in the faces of the students, and breed only contention on the planet.

And a new threat is now drifting darkly on the horizon. A Klingon Bird of Prey, thus far known only as the Associated Students Ship (A.S.S.), has joined the fray on the side of the Fullertonians against Tobacco.

Some have accused the notoriously devious captain, Araz, of using the typical horrific kinds of Klingon tricks to tip the scales. There have been whispers that his first nasty tool for his war on Tobacco was the use of a hideously distorted survey with questions as evilly twisted as any good Klingon captain could make them. The second weapon borne against Tobacco by the A.S.S. and her captain was low even by Klingon standards -- a major media outlet.

Yes, it has been a long and bloody battle, and is sure to carry on longer. It will be splashed with even more gore of dying students in the future, and burning Tobacco. But the loss of life on the planet Fullerton is not the most tragic part of the war for Tobacco.

The worst part is the Klingon dictatorship of the issue. Araz and his A.S.S. have brought the big guns to bear, and the minority of Fullertonions who ally themselves with Tobacco have no way of fighting off this controlling menace.

The Klingons of the A.S.S. have swooped down on a planet already divided, and caused a rift which is pitting students against each other, and will leave behind only a desolate and easily controlled planet, full of people who don't mind being told what to do and when or where to do it.

The A.S.S. fights not only against Tobacco, but against the free will of the Students of Fullerton.

The sun is setting on another day of the planet Fullerton. From space, the planet seems peaceful. What will happen, if this exile is enforced? Who will lead the planet out of darkness? Does any hope remain? One can only hope that this ban on Tobacco will boldly go nowhere.

Fullerton College’s The Hornet seeks feedback on its article at http://www.fchornet.com/vnews/display.v/AR...2/4227d375b9257.
« Last Edit: 03 17, 2005, 06:51: AM by Kesvirit » Logged

Richard the Sound Guy: "And the next person to lecture me about canon risks getting shot out of one! Right, gaffers?"
Gaffers make appreciative and supportive remarks in the form of bad imitations of primate calls from the direction of the lighting grids.
One Post Wonder

Offline Offline

Posts: 1

« Reply #1 on: 07 21, 2014, 05:38: PM »

Boldly Going Nowhere
The Wrath of Araz

by Captain Alli Kirkham Hornet Columnist
March 02, 2005

Well I completely agree with the post details..Our planet is turning out to be horrible place for living.. We all are running to attain good life but our ways are not correct..
« Last Edit: 07 07, 2017, 07:45: PM by Klythe » Logged
Pages: [1] Go Up Print 
« previous next »
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!