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Author Topic: Klingons Open New Law Practice  (Read 5809 times)
Her Nibbs
Thought Master
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Posts: 1122

That which does not kill me, must have missed me.

« on: 02 19, 2005, 04:34: AM »

When I was in school, there was a class in which aspiring writers of news and recent events compiled the school’s news bulletin. It was considered an honor and an accomplishemnt to be part of this elite group, and their publication won many prestigious awards. Said bulletin featured the usual exaggerated accounts of athletic victories, salutes to those whose well-connected parents had gotten their less-than-stellar offspring into the finest academies, updates on the construction of the superintendant’s new office, and the like.

Only once a year were the efforts of the beginning reporters collected and distributed for others to read. These publications tended to be even more banal than the attempts of the senior students, with one possible exception. That was the year the beginning class rebelled against their instructors and took matters into their own hands. That was the year of “The Sunset Scam”.

The Scam was a satire of the usual propoganda rag, skewering the Administration and the school’s student oligarchy.  How they got the issue past their instructors, to press, and distributed to the student body remains a secret to this day.

Kai kassai that year’s Into to Journalism class!  It is to them that I dedicate this post.

-=- Kesvirit
Klingons Open New Law Office
There Is Honor In This Klingon Law Practice

Dateline: AT THE MALL -- Is there honour to be won in the law courts of Man? The Klingons think so, because in an aggressive marketing move, a prominent Klingon law firm has opened a high-profile location near the corner of a suburban human mall. Lawyers at Kang & Company Law Practice hope to cash-in on walk-in traffic looking for quick settlements of legal disputes.

"We fill fight to regain the honour our clients have lost," said Gorkon, partner in the firm. "These weak spineless humans let themselves be walked all over. We will help them, and gain honour and rewards for ourselves."

Gorkon, who battled for years to get his law degree, believes that their openly aggressive tactics have helped the Klingons to win many cases--often before they reach the courts. He cites the case of a certain John Smith who was charged with speeding and reckless driving. Charges were dropped after Kang lawyers challenged the cowardly prosecuting attorney to a Dk' tahg duel.

"We will not rest until your name has been restored," said Kahlest, another partner pounding the table with his fist. "May the blood of my forefathers be the testimony to my Blood Oath."

Kang and Co. have had some difficulty adapting to human law, but to their credit, they have kept the amount of bloodshed to a minimum.

"When one of our clients admitted his guilt to us we told him he was being a coward, and that he should take full responsibility for his dishonour," said Kahlest. "There was no need to go to court. We even performed a discommendation ceremony, and then kicked him out of our offices, spitting at his disgrace."

The Kang partners' legal successes are being sung throughout the court system, and they hope many tales of their victories will be told to future generations.

"We are passionate about practicing law, said Gorkon. "Although we would prefer to be fighting for the glory of our people, we do find satisfaction on the battlefields of justice. Our lawyers are the true warriors of jurisprudence and legal science."

Human lawyers are intimidated by the powerful presence of the Klingons. The advantage is useful for the armed defenders of justice, who carry batleths more often than briefcases.

"Our only real enemies are the weak cowards of the legal system," added Gorkon. "Our weapons are those of legal precedent. Let those who oppose us shudder in fear. May you be worthy of our council."

"We have lost only one case," said Kahlest. "It was old Sarpek, a mighty warrior in his time, but weakened with age. When he realized that he could no longer strike fear in his enemies, only pity, he committed Hegh`bat, the ritualized suicide. It was the honourable thing to do."

The original article and additional graphics can be found at http://www.thetoque.com/021210/klingonlaw.htm.
« Last Edit: 02 23, 2005, 03:32: AM by Kesvirit » Logged

Richard the Sound Guy: "And the next person to lecture me about canon risks getting shot out of one! Right, gaffers?"
Gaffers make appreciative and supportive remarks in the form of bad imitations of primate calls from the direction of the lighting grids.
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