As Qunchuy has pointed out, it's difficult to express "fear" as a noun in Klingon. We can talk about being afraid of doing something (attaching -vIp
to a verb or using the verb Haj
), or dreading something (using Haj
with a noun), but it's hard to talk about "fear" as an abstract concept. In Klingon, you don't say someone is afraid without specifying what it is they're afraid of.
I must not fear.
When the pronoun jIH
is used as a verb, it means "I am (something)". So jIHvIpQo'
means "I won't be afraid to be (something)", but what is that something? The most I can make of this sentence is that it means "I won't be afraid to be (i.e., to exist)", not "I will not experience fear".
I'd recommend recasting as something like:pagh vIHaj
I (will) fear nothing.vay' vIHajQo'
I won't fear anything.
Fear is the mind-killer.
As written, this would be a clipped command to "Fear the mind-killer!" Haj
isn't a noun, and even if it were, you'd still need a verb (like yab HoHwI' 'oH *Haj'e'
). But if you're using verb+-wI'
with a pronoun+'e'
construction in Klingon, you're better off just using the verb, like so: yab HoH *Haj
Again, better to recast in Klingon using verbs:Hajlu'DI' yab HoHlu'
when one dreads, the mind is killed.
(Recall the sentence "Death is an experience best shared" in Klingon, Heghlu'DI' mobbe'lu'chugh QaQqu' Hegh wanI'
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
HeghHom qembogh Qaw'naqbogh Haj.
I don't understand what *naq
is, maybe you meant naQ
, but that isn't a verb suffix. There's a suffix -chu'
which expresses "total", "complete", though.
For example, Qaw'chu'bogh HeghHom 'oH HajtaHghach'e'
, if you're intent on forcing "fear" into a noun.
I will face my fear.
HajwIj bam jIH.
Nice use of the new word bam
, but it needs a prefix: vIbam
for "I face (it)". But bam
is glossed as "have the prospect of having to deal with", not "confront", which would be qaD
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
vIchaw' mujuS 'ej muvegh jIH.
Watch your word order. 'e' vIchaw'
comes last, and jIH
comes before muvegh
. But I'm not sure that juS
even has the meaning that you want. For something to overtake or pass someone sounds to me like it's getting the better of them, not going through them without interference. I would recommend not thinking so literally and translating the meaning instead.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
'ej DujuSpu'DI', HeDaj legh qoD mIn tlhe' jIH.
Why did you switch to Du-
, did you mean mu-
? Again, the translation is too literal. Instead of tlhe'
"turn", I'd suggesting a verb of attention (qIm
, or maybe puS
"to sight") with the suffix -qa'
to express the idea of "(re)turn".
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.pagh
Daq mejpu' Haj, pagh.
by itself isn't a sentence. I also don't quite understand what this sentence is even saying in English, so I don't know if the concept it's trying to express is chIm
or ratlh pagh
Only I will remain.
ratlh jIH mob.
Watch the prefix. jIratlh jIH neH