What do you get a Klingon for Christmas?

[Klythe]

We are told that Klingons shun anything that is purely for comfort.  Thier beds are made from the same material as the floor, entirely lacking in pillows, sheets and blankets.  They aren't driven by material possessions even remotely as much as many Terrans...

    So what would Klingons give to each other if they had a holiday gift giving tradition such as Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Yule tide, etc?  
Some sort of Winter Holiday ritual is common to most primative cultures and held as tradition by less primative ones.   There is usually a ritual which must be done to bring back the sun and banish the cold.  Does this even apply on Qo'noS?  Is there any reason to suspect Klingons would not have such a holiday?

    I think I have some ideas, but I want to hear what you come up with before I take all the good answers.

[tmk1000]

good question...a batleth sharpner .
i saw on a terren show that one guy dressed up as the Klingon santa
"Only naughty kids get presents from him"
 

[Kesvirit]

We are told that Klingons shun anything that is purely for comfort. Thier beds are made from the same material as the floor, entirely lacking in pillows, sheets and blankets. They aren't driven my material possessions even remotely compared to Terrans...

Surely the one does not believe everything he is shown in Federation-produced entertainments.

Some hold that the the Klingons slew or banished their gods, and there is a proverb that states that "If there are gods, they do not help, and justice belongs to the strong." So why bother  to celebrate the birth of an irrelevant individual?
But this is not the place to rehash the Klingon Gods thread...

There is usually a ritual which must be done to bring back the sun and banish the cold. Does this even apply on Qo'noS? Is there any reason to suspect Klingons would not have such a holiday?

I would think not. The only map of the Homeworld I have seen shows the primary landmass to be located within the tropics and subtropics, suggesting seasons differentiated by changes in winds and wet/dry than hot/cold or dark/light. Most places I have seen climate mentioned have specified a greenhouse effect that creates a hot, wet, relatively uniform environment.

However, that does not mean that such a holiday as you propose is not observed on other worlds within the Empire.

So the question you should be asking is, "What would Klingons give one another on an occasion of mutual gift presentation?"

I would think such wants and needs would be as individual as Klingons themselves. Perhaps these gifts would tend to lean towards the trivial or the indulgent, simply because Klingons tend toward the pragmatic and would be glad to receive something wanted but non-essential on which they would be reluctant to spend their own funds.

-=- Kesvirit
 

[qoSagh]

Regardless of the occasion for the holiday, I think the real question here is would Klingons give gifts and if so what kind of gifts would they give? I am not sure that gift giving would exist in the way it does among humans. Klingons are nothing if not proud. They are proud of thier accomplishments and proud of thier families, and proud of thier empire. If Klingons do not have comfort items, then all such gifts would have to serve a purpose, and there is the problem. Giving useful gifts could be seen as an accusation that the recipient could not buy/make/acquire the item on his own. I think that Klingon pride would shun any type of handout, and many gifts would be seen as such.

Now we know thee are times when something is given from one Klingon to another but mostly it is a hand me down of traditional items. Like a father giving his son a blade, or other special item. I suppose that there might be a time when such traditional items could be handed off in a non linear fashion, but I don't see that happening in between families much.

[voraq]

I think that the sharpner mentioned by tmk1000 is a good idea.  Perhaps if one is so inclined, and has enough intergalactic funds, bladed weapons of alien cultures.  That would be an idea for a klingon who enjoys expanding knowledge and ability beyond the Klingon martial arts.

For the strategist perhaps Klin zha related items, or even human zha if the Klingon in mind is inclined to study alien war strategies.    

 

[Klythe]

Consumables might be good, especially what passes for Klingon gormet  or exotic food and drink.   You are not saying that they can't get it on thier own, only that I got some for you, so you do not have to.

     In the Star Trek Klingon interactive (movie) game, Pok was given several gifts for his comming of age ceremony.   I'll try to find out what some of them are...  

TMK1k said,

I saw on a Terran show that one guy dressed up as the Klingon Santa   --"Only naughty kids get presents from him"

     *Belly Laughs *   I can only imaginge....    Santa "You were a vicious little warrior young K'vin, fighting with your older sister every day last year...   Because of that you are gettting...    A lump of Dilithium!"

Kesvirit said,

I would think not. The only map of the Homeworld I have seen shows the primary landmass to be located within the tropics and subtropics, suggesting seasons differentiated by changes in winds and wet/dry than hot/cold or dark/light.

    and actually, I would agree with her, but for different reasons.  I have seen two or three maps, each very different.   But I have aslo read elsewhere that Qo'noS's axis is not nearly as steep, also reducing the differences between the seasons.  

I think that Klingon pride would shun any type of handout, and many gifts would be seen as such.

     Since Klingons are not known for pity, so I think it might not be as big of an issue...  But in one sense I agree, giving someone something that is particularly easily acquired, would very much be insulting.

For the strategist perhaps Klin zha related items, or even human zha if the Klingon in mind is inclined to study alien war strategies.

    Sadly most warriors do not study the games of thier oppoenents.  This is why such a gift is a particularly good choice, but be careful to explain it, or else the recipient my be insulted that you are saying you think they happen to like human things...

[KAllen]

How about a cute lil' Targ cub???

What warrior can't resist that!!!

[qoSagh]

If giving a gift that is easily acquired would be seen as an insult but one that is difficult in acquiring wold be seen more as sharing something cool, then there could be an entire art of gift insulting much like curse warefare.

I can see that gifts might be exchanged between families or the crews of passing ships, that could set off rivalries for years. Entire wars could be fought over the gift that was given between two warriors four centuries ago.

I think I have a whole lot of new ideas for human Christmases comming up...lol

[Ambassador Lady K'Zin]

Through all my years, I have yet to see a Klingon turn down the gift of a barrel of good-quality Bloodwine! (I even read in a Klingon book of a barrel of Bloodwine being used as the reward for a bet between major Klingon characters...)

And certain circles might enjoy a small bottle of Romulan Ale or Saurian Brandy, as long as they do not have to show it to others who might not have such an open mind...

Come to think of it, most Terran-based Klingons I know of would also appreciate a gift of fine chocolates... Mmmmmmm....

So, although luxuries are generally shunned among Klingons; I think that under the right circumstances, and with the right friend, some goodies are definitely valued and appreciated!

[G'Vera]

Yes, chocolates. Can NEVER go wrong giving Chocolates. That is truely the food of the Gods themselves. Forget this ambrosia crap. Make it chocolates instead.

Also, I agree, bladed weapons are always a good gift, or weapons of any sort, especially if the individual collects a certain type.  

[tapez_sonof_chang]

if there is a notion of christmas among klingons it would be something few value.

Klingons very much do not oblige to the notions of pacifism and peace - the true values of Christianity.

but when looking at x mass in the way then the gifts are those of

love and appreciation for our friends and family.

showing the respect and attention towards your klingon friend is key, giving him something of use that signifies your recognition of his honor or some other achievement would be key.

if you think a material gift is key here then indeed try to get something that will be of use to that Klingon.

remember that klingons prefer things that are usefull and are not concerned with the appearance but rather the function and value of your gift.

[Klythe]

Actually, I'm not entirely sure decorations would be shunned.   Art may not be as highly prised as Terrans would value it, but something such as a depiction of a famous battle that interests the gift reciever, particularly if the one was involved in the battle, would be appreciated far longer than the gift of chocolate.

    After all what is the difference between a painting and a song?  Both are finely crafted expressions of art.  Both are enduring tributes and recognition of honor.   Even if the warrior was not present, if his ancestors were, or if the one is a young tactician studying the battle, it would also be particularly treasured, would it not?

[G'Vera]

I agree that although paintings are not set at as high a value in the Klingon culture, sculpture and other art forms are prized. Worf had a wonderful sculpture of Kahless and Molor (I think that's the right one) fighting that he had proudly displayed in his quarters. He even used it to explain to Alexander the importance of honesty. So, I believe that giving a Warrior a piece of art that is appropriate would be looked upon favorably.

[tmk1000]

And also in the Klingon books i read it talks about various painting displayed proudly,on the walls  

[Klythe]

Darn, now that you mention it, I think I have seen references to Klingon paintings in the novels.  The mural of Durgath in Pawns and Symbols springs to mind.

   And here I thought I was being insightful, or perhaps inciteful...

Although the idea of a targh pup for young warriors is starting to grow on me.   I would not encourage the gift of pets in most cases, since they must be actively maintained and cared for or they suffer.   Klingon youth have more dicipline than Human children and are more likely to follow through on thier duty to care for the pet, even once the novelty or initial infactuation wanes.   Perhaps Kesvirit would have more to say about pets as gifts...  

[tmk1000]

That is also what i was thinking of. I also think there was another,cymele???but it was a center piece for the table i think.}}:/

[maq'mang]

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Also from the the warriors who brought you the Bloodwine-of-the-Cycle Club:

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[Combined into one post.   Added segue to keep the advertising flow going.  -Klythe }}:o] ]

[Abbot Nej vIt]

The Worthy Goods Available through the Various Veska "Enterprises" Aside, ...<Chuckle>... I Think that Consumeables are Always Likely to be Worthy, if Careful Thought is Given to The Tastes of the Recipient... For as qo'Sagh has Correctly Pointed Out, Returning the Ancient Human Cake of Candied Fruit to the Warrior Who Gave it to you Last Season Could be Poorly Received!

I Also Am Inclined to Agree that Martial Weapons Would be Quite Thoughtful, Particularly if One Knew that the New Owner was a Collector.

Artworks are Tricky... Like Consumables Tastes Vary from Klingon to Klingon, So Offensive, or even Neutral Works Could Imply Deeper Meanings... Intentionally or Otherwise...

Even so, Just as one must Know their Opponant, So Must one Know their Allies and Friends... In So Knowing, Great Opportunities for Jest are also Possible... Klingons are not after all, by Nature the Humorless Drones that The Questionable Worf Would Lead the Federation to Believe... So A Gift Selected Intentionally in Humor, and Given to the Right Person, Could Very Well be an Accepted and Even Appreciated Act of Cunning.

So my Suggestion Would be to Follow these Basic Tenets of Gift Giving Etiquet:

One: Have a Firm Understanding of Why the Gift is being Presented And be Sure that it will Produce the Desired Response.

Two: Klingons are Not Precognicient Creatures, But are Very Passionate, So in the Event that a Gift is Not Received the Way it is Intended, be Prepared to Fight.

Two-a: (For Non-Klingons in Particular), You are Likely Arrogant in Your Presumed Understanding of Klingon Ways, So While Heading Rule Number Two, You May Wish to Substitute an Effective Escape Plan Rather than Attempting to Stand and Fight. You will be Called a Coward, (And Worse), but if You are of a Race that Values Your Own Worthless Life, then this Could at least Insure it. Perhaps your Young will Learn From Your Mistakes.

Three: If In Doubt in any Way, Do Not Attempt to Give a Gift at All, as Actions Which are Shallow or Poorly Planned will Inevitably be Seen as Such and and will Reflect Badly up on you, and Future Interaction will Likely Suffer.