proofing for a klingon mother's day card

[echalon]

As part of my first foray into Klingon, I've decided to try my hand at making a mother's day card in Klingon. Could anyone help check my Klingon?

SoSpu’ jaj ’oH DaHjaj ’e’.
Today is Mother’s Day.

vIlopmeH SoSwIj vIvan.
In order to celebrate it, I salute my mother.

bIwIH ’ej jaghpu’ra’ Daghatlh.
You are ruthless and dominate your enemies.

maw’ Dumaghbogh mang.
The soldier who betrays you is crazy.

not bIHIgh.
You never fight dirty.

’uy’ may’Dujmey yo’ Dara’laH.
You can command a million fleets of  battle cruisers.

Doj yablIj.
Your mind is impressive.

pIj bIHaD ’ej law’ Doch Daghojbogh.
You study often and the things that you learn are many.

ta’lIjmo’ qorDu’majvaD batlh  noblu’.
Because of your accomplishments, honor is given to our family.

chavlIjmo’ jIHem.
Because of your achievements, I am proud.

nuq lujatlh tlhIngan HoDpu’?
What do the Klingon captains say? (Showing a picture of some thoughtful Klingons)

majQa’!
Well done!

SoS Dunqu’ vIghajmo’ jIDo’.
Because I have a very wonderful mother, I am lucky.

[tesseraktik]

majQa'! {Well done!} Some suggestions:

SoSpu’ jaj ’oH DaHjaj ’e’.
Today is Mother’s Day.

Remember, the -'e' here is not a word in and of itself, but a noun suffix: SoSpu' jaj 'oH DaHjaj'e'.
That bein said, I'd recommend SoSpu' jaj 'oH jajvam'e'. The reason for this is that jajvam is more commonly found as the subject of a sentence than is DaHjaj.

bIwIH ’ej jaghpu’ra’ Daghatlh.
You are ruthless and dominate your enemies.

I think you want jaghpu'lI' (the enemies of you (singular)), rather than jaghpu'ra' (the enemies of all of you).
Guessing you chose -ra' because it's the "plural" version of -lI', but -ra' makes the possessors plural, not the possessed. In other words, -ra' is to -lI' what -ma' (our) is to -wI' (my).

’uy’ may’Dujmey yo’ Dara’laH.
You can command a million fleets of  battle cruisers.

Uncertain about using 'uy' {million} by itself; I'd recommend wa''uy' {a million}
On the other hand, I have sort of seen vatlh {hundred} be used without a number (here), so it might be fine.

ta’lIjmo’ qorDu’majvaD batlh  noblu’.
Because of your accomplishments, honor is given to our family.

Uncertain about the concept of "giving" honor; I'd recommend ta'meylIjmo' quv qorDu'maj. {Because of your accomplishments, our family is honored.} or qorDu'maj quvmoH ta'meylIj. {Your accomplishments honor our family.}

chavlIjmo’ jIHem.
Because of your achievements, I am proud.

Consider making that chavmeylIjmo' to make explicit that her accomplishments are plural. That's optional, though.


Once again: majQa'!

[echalon]

Thanks for the help! Your corrections make it a lot more sensible.

Remember, the -'e' here is not a word in and of itself, but a noun suffix

Is the space before 'e' on p.68 of TKD an error, then?

Uncertain about the concept of "giving" honor; I'd recommend ta'meylIjmo' quv qorDu'maj.

I knew I should have looked at the appendix! I was surprised that this was missing from the original dictionary.

Thanks again!

[tesseraktik]

Thanks for the help! Your corrections make it a lot more sensible.

Remember, the -'e' here is not a word in and of itself, but a noun suffix

Is the space before 'e' on p.68 of TKD an error, then?

Yup.

Uncertain about the concept of "giving" honor; I'd recommend ta'meylIjmo' quv qorDu'maj.

I knew I should have looked at the appendix! I was surprised that this was missing from the original dictionary.

Thanks again!

As a quick reference, I recommend this suffix guide: http://klingonska.org/dict/suffix.html
Also, check out "Reference Table" for a good graph of all the verb prefixes.

http://hol.kag.org also has handy suffix and prefix guides.

Edit: Fixed link.

[qurgh_]

www.hol.kag.org also has handy suffix and prefix guides.

No www, just http://hol.kag.org or http://mughom.wizage.net (either works).

[tesseraktik]

www.hol.kag.org also has handy suffix and prefix guides.

No www, just http://hol.kag.org or http://mughom.wizage.net (either works).

HIvqa' veqlargh. {The Fek'lhr strikes again.}
He vIlI'moHta'. {I have made the link useful.}