Klingon Hamlet - Missing phrase from "taH pagh taHbe'" needs proofreading

[Kaz Son of Maktan]

I am currently memorizing the "To be or not to be" soliloquy (taH pagh taHbe') from the Klingon Hamlet for performance, and in reverse translating the tlingan Hol text back to each phrase's English translation, I found that there is a phrase missing- "the pangs of despis'd/dispriz'd love". Now, I give all props to Nick Nicholas and company for uncovering this major work, but I felt the missing phrase necessary to the rhythm of the monologue for my personal performance. Thus, I have made a stab at translating this phrase to tlingan Hol. I ask any of you who can, to please correct or proofread the grammar of this translation for me: "pangs of dispriz'd love" > pains of unvalued love > unvaluable love pains. 'oy'mey - pain (plural). lo'laHbe' - valuable, not. bang - love. The hardest part for me is where to place the rover suffix -mo' (-due to) as well as the overall word order. My best guess is: lo'laHbe'bangmo'oy'mey. It doesn't feel totally right with such a long, single word as a phrase. Shoot. Maybe that's why they kept it out...

[Jon]

I'm not the best Klingon speaker here, but these are my thoughts.

I'm sure you've already looked up alternatives, but anyway, we also have neH meaning want or desire, and I think "undesired love" or "unwanted love" is better.

There are two words which have "love" in their meaning:
    bang which also means "beloved" or "one who is loved". The word "love" in English can refer to a person, such as in "my love", and possibly bang is only intended to refer to a person.
    parmmaq which also means "romance", which again is not quite the meaning required.

You've made your translation a single word. I tend to avoid that since it smacks of forming a neologism which would be non-canonical and so frowned upon by one's peers.

Breaking your construction up into a verb and nouns:
    lo'laHbe' bangmo' 'oy'mey
Which I would translate into a sentence as:
    Because love's pains are not valuable.
I can't quite form a good English sentence form this. I'm not sure that -mo' can be placed on a subject noun.

To form "undesired love" we would need to use -bogh, as in "love which is not desired" (this is why I didn't use lo', we would need to use "love which can't be used", which is weaker).

With neH, the subject of the verb is the person wanting or desiring, "love is not desired" is actually passive voice (i.e. "somebody does not desire love"), which is bang neHlu'be'. So "undesired love" is bang neHlu'be'bogh (literally "love which somebody does not desire").

This is a noun phrase, so acts like a noun. To get any construction such as "pains of love" or "love's pains" we use the noun-noun construction, that is bang 'oy'mey.

Anyway, my best guess is:
    bang neHlu'be'bogh 'oy'mey
(Literally "pains of love which somebody does not want").

[Kaz Son of Maktan]

g'day't, you're good. Thank you for the fast reply.  I'm gonna throw out more info here, which I didn't think to add earlier, just to bounce off you and see if it agrees with your research: (To be sure, I'm trying to analyze one of the MOST analyzed and debated passages of the English, and on top of that now, in another language). This missing passage of "the pangs of despis'd/dispriz'd love" has to be more specific for me. The preceding line of "the oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely" refer, in my opinion, to Hamlet's uncle Claudius and the Lord Chamberlain Polonius respectively. The "pangs" line is Hamlet's opinion on his estranged relationship with his mother. The pang, or sudden shot of pain is the hurt he feels from his mother not valuing, or to be melodramatic, despising his love and or revulsion at her marrying her dead husband's brother, considered insest in Shakespeare's time and culture. So, with that elaboration, would personal or possessive pronouns alter your translation?

[Kaz Son of Maktan]

Wow! it's been such a long time, but finally, I have memorized this monologue! It took me so long, especially not having a full text audible source to go by (though hearing most of this famous soliloquy in the documentary, Humans: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water, helped.

[Kesvirit]

Now all that remains is for you to perform this passage for the camera and post the video online. Think of the [Herbert] ... certain,... special... something! [/Herbert] it will add to your c.v. and demo reel. (Besides, I wanna see!)

FWIW, there is a video resume posting site called CvTube. I don’t know enough about it to endorse it, but merely point out that it exists as a possible alternative to getting lost in the pit of 14-yr-olds-calling-each-other-gay that YouTube has become.

-=- Kesvirit

[Kaz Son of Maktan]

Kesvirit,
Hello. I will check out Cytube. Although, a week ago I posted the video on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiRMGYQfXrs (for those of us without blu-ray).
Like so many of us, I was inspired by that scene from Star Trek VI, and even furthermore by KLI's translation of Hamlet. I wanted to film this a year ago, but had major delays. This end product was rushed, but I am proud of it nonetheless. Qapla'!